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Over the past few months, I’ve started writing songs again. Since high school, I’ve had patches of times when I’ve written lots of songs but it’s been about 10 years since I finished one. Then last summer, after being struck with a renewed obsession of my teenage crush- rock star Rick Springfield – I was inspired to start a blog about this obsession, which led to a song – My Rick Springfield Crush Revival. (I even made it into a video a few months later.)

Then in January, I wrote my first song in about a decade – “Holes in the Wall.” Then I’ve consistently written more this year. I’ve written nine in all over this past year. Almost a full album! (Unfortunately my guitar and piano skills are pretty rusty so they don’t sound yet how I’d like them to sound.)

But over the course of these past few months, I realized how much I enjoyed writing songs. I always thought I’d record them someday and now – this is where the mid-life crisis comes to play – I’m in the frame of mind that if I don’t do it now, when will I? How much time do I actually have left to pursue this dream?

I’m not sure how much of this thinking is because in the back of my mind, I’m realizing how close I’m getting to the age my mom was when she died of pancreatic cancer. She was 52.

So, despite that I already have a crazy schedule – work full-time, have three young kids and have some other obligations – I decided to make time to work on my songs, too.

As I was writing my RS blog, I started pulling out my journals from high school and beyond and finding all the songs I’ve written over the years. Although some I’ve continued to sing to myself through the years, others I had forgotten about, but still remembered the tune when I saw them.

I went through them and started a Beyond the Notebook blog as a way to get them out of the notebook and in a digital format.

Then, since I realized nobody really knew the melodies besides me, I set out starting to record them. As I mentioned, my musical skills need a lot of work, but my goal is to get rough versions out of as many as I can and then from there take the next step of trying to record them professionally.

So I started a Soundcloud page. So far I’ve recorded seven songs.

Is this my version of a mid-life crisis? I feel like I should have pursued this in my 20s or 30s; doing this in my 40s feels a little selfish, especially with three young kids. But I’m not planning on becoming a rock star or touring around the world – I wouldn’t want to be away from my family like that – so there’s really nothing wrong with it, right?